I believe there’s no better feeling in the world than going to lunch.

I love em dashes even though they may be out of style. I reject exclamation points as a crutch people mainly use to mime enthusiasm or deliver clumsy passive aggression (“Hope this helps!”).  

I love movies about Decent Men like “The Nice Guys” or “Goodfellas”.

My favorite sport to play is the Hook and Ring game at any dive bar. 

I can do some incredibly niche impressions. Ask me about my Barty Crouch Sr. 

For a week in 4th grade I re-enacted the “Wet Bandits” scheme from Home Alone and tried to clog one of the sinks in the school bathroom with paper towels. Never in an office though.  

Hit me up while you’re heading to lunch.